Vagina Dentata: Myths, Lies, & Stinking Pussy
by Jonathan Quince
Tuesday, September 21, 2004 09:48:39
Loathe as we are here at SOPEF to let the filth and corruption of the outside world touch our pristine world of idealistic fantasy, we must needs occasionally reach out to our borders to defend our most treasured values. After all, we do live in reality; and though a Social Order unto ourselves, the seedling of a new society, we also do exist in the society of Mankind-at-large as he stands basking in the dawn of the twenty-first century. So, as one of the beneficent oligarchs here reigning, I must uphold our mandate and face toe-to-toe one of the pervasive lies of outer society: The myth of the filthy pussy.
Dirty pussy. Unmentionable nether-region. Filthy, stinking cunt. Even isolated as I am in my own little world, I have heard it on occasion. Anybody who is the least bit acquainted with me knows well that I feel distinctly otherwise. Yet rare as it is for me to encounter this type of attitude, I do run up against it on occasion. And as I am a devout lover of the human form in general and the female essence in particular, it grates a bit on my nerves. If nothing else, it is an insult to my scholarly knowledge and good taste; in my eyes, revulsion at the vagina is tantamount to an obscene declaration that all of Bach’s greatest works are vile cacophony.
If nothing else, it is an insult to my knowledge of biology. Our bodies are complex systems teeming with life, and the vagina is no different in this respect than, say, the hand or the mouth. (Really, the mouth seems often downright gross by comparison.) It is not a waste canal like the anus, either, contrary to the scientifically preposterous ideas that I wouldn’t believe anybody bought if I hadn’t heard them espoused to my own ears.
The cunt is a more or less elegantly engineered input/output port with its own evolved defense mechanisms to wash away dirt and ward off infection. It faces some very demanding challenges in everyday usage: Semen, germs from the surrounding environment, eight-pound screaming human larvae trying to escape the womb, and many more visitors all take their toll. But it has finely-balanced machinery to solve those challenges and avoid compromise by the very same microbial intruders that invisibly pervade our everyday existence.
A full thesis on the myths and realities of the vagina would be far outside the scope of a mere blog-entry; and it is not my intention to even scratch the surface of a biology lesson, let alone give exhaustive coverage. Rather, I need to sign my name on the side of what is right. I need to speak it in my voice, to make it known. And at the end of the day, I need to be able to come home to my clean little world and look straight into a vagina and smile at it. I need to look the cunt in its proverbial eye and kiss it.
But the question still arises: From where might come such an odd belief as that of the dirty vagina? (Really, it is almost quaint, like a sincere assertion that babies are brought by storks.)
Now, I am not a feminist. (Far from it, indeed!) But most philosophies and social power-structures are built around at least a few grains of truth at the center. And in this case, the feminists hit the nail on the head. Hatred for the vagina does exist; and when convenient, it dovetails neatly into a negation of all things feminine.
I am astounded at how some brilliantly intelligent and usually-thoughtful people are convinced that the vagina is a “sewer” (not my word!). Suddenly, when conversing with a wise and mature adult, I am hit by a flashback to the inane gibbering from some of the lesser-valued people I knew in my teenage years. Such is the power of a brainwashing that somehow never touched me; and from my own experience as a mutant ex-Catholic, I do know that a revulsion for the human body and its functions can be quite convincing when it is simply ubiquitous.
Home and church and school and peers rarely agree on anything at all; but when they do, even the most naturally free-thinking mind might simply never get around to questioning. Truisms are hard to resist: Don’t eat feces, wash your hands after you touch your pee-pee, and—oh, by the way, the vagina is a filthy, stinking sewer. A yes, a maybe, and a lie presented together, all having to do with the human body; how is a young child to tell which is which, and to prevent the lie from taking root in his fertile mind?