Executive Privilege
by Jonathan Quince
Tuesday, November 2, 2004 20:10:15
The polls are still open in many states, but never let it be said that such trifling matters can stop me from getting down to business and settling matters of importance.
In my first action as the new supreme ruler President-Elect of the United States, I hereby issue an Executive Order commanding that all American females between the ages of 16 and 50 report immediately to the Quince Campaign Headquarters. There, they will submit for a pre-qualification process evaluating fitness for service in the Presidential Harem.
Now, let the planning for the Quince Campaign Victory Party begin!
(A note to my readers: Thus far, I have kept U.S. election hype out of Sopef as a matter of editorial policy. In doing so, I may have sacrificed a few write-in votes; however, I value Sopef’s editorial integrity enough keep out items that don’t fit. However, the matter of the Presidential Harem most certainly is most consonant with our charter. ;-)