Sex
by Jonathan Quince
Tuesday, September 14, 2004 18:18:18
This started out as part of a reply to you; but I do think it is of a fundamental importance between us that merits its own topic thread. Indeed, I would not be surprised if this ends up growing until I repurpose it as a blog entry sometime in the next few days. :-)
The subject at hand, is, of course, sex. On our other current thread of conversation, I explained to you some of the more sordid and less titillating aspects of my reality. Now it is time to delve into the nexus between that reality and my realm of fantasy—and indeed, to explore who I am and what true meaning sex holds for me.
I study sex with a clinical cool, a scholar’s interest. I cherish sex with the passionate ardor of religious worship. I uphold sex, sexual activity, and pornography as the fulfillment of moral principles—not as necessary evils or dirty embarrassments requiring apology (as most modern society), and not only as lowly means to a more spiritual end (as many so-called “sex-positive” lefties), but as good and pure in and of themselves. Sex can be a powerful tool and a means to an end, but I demand that sex qua sex be acknowledged as a value.
To sum it up, I often keep watching the porno after I cum. That should tell you quite a bit about my attitude towards (and downright insatiate fascination for) sex. Even when my (fairly normal) physical libido is temporarily satisfied, I have unquenchable lusts built deep into my psychology to drive me onwards. I can (and have) stayed up all night just kissing, and my mind drives me to keep going long after my body begs to collapse from simple fatigue.
My interest in sex is of an impressive breadth subject-wise, as well. I avidly take to a wide range of sexual expression, from softcore nude art photography to items of extreme taboo. The term “omnisexual” I used to describe my “Rene” persona is not very much of an exaggeration at all; indeed, sometimes I think I should just move to the Netherlands or thereabouts and let more prudish society go fuck itself, rather than take the chance of being excommunicated from polite company for “squicking” people out. My only requirement for sexual practice is that it must be clean (in my understanding of the word), pure (in so far as self-integrity), and beautiful (as I know beauty to be an absolute value).
But in contrast to the image of the drooling and glassy-eyed sex maniac, my nearly-unbounded sexuality is not a blind and unregimented fury. Rather, it is a finely-worked engine of exquisite articulation, precision, and self-control. I live day-to-day thinking sex, studying sex, immersing myself in the subject almost to the point of obsession; yet the delight I take is little different than that of anybody else possessed of a passion for an art or a science.
Indeed, that is why sex (and some industrious application thereof) would make a good and fitting career for me. I can spend all day, every day immersed intellectually in an atmosphere of raw sexuality, and I will neither tire of it nor become unbalanced. It is an innate part of who I am.
Of course, sex isn’t my only interest. Indeed, my fascinations in general are as varied and universal as my sexuality. From physics to religion to the musical arts, my talents combined with my very nearly all-encompassing thirst for the world make my path in life a matter of my coldly calculated whimsy. Theoretically, at least, I can pick and choose. (In some ways, I am limited by some unpleasant life’s circumstances rooted in the past; but I wish to emphasize that on the whole, my whole “sex as a career” idea is not chosen for lack of potential or interest in other subject domains.)
Well, that should give you some greater basis for understanding what I think of sex and how I approach it. I will try to write you another e-mail later on the other thread, clarifying a few points you questioned about my life. In the mean time, explore what potential realms of fantasy can be opened by such a driven passion for sex as I have.
With daring kisses, lascivious licks, and wanton groping.